I look at you, every day, when you are awake and walk around the house, when you are asleep and I have been up since 5 am to clean the house or cook your food before I’ll leave for work.
You are my heart, my everything, from the minute you were born I knew you were special, special like every son or daughter is for their mother.
How hard it is do it right…
You are almost nineteen now, and I see a man in front of me, yet in some ways I still see a child, or maybe it is just me and you will always be my child.
I wish I had been given a manual with instructions on how to always say the right thing, react the best possible way, understand your silence, your short phrases, your moods.
I don’t. I don’t think any mother does, I just do the best I can and try to be the best mum I can, but I know sometimes I fail. I can see it from your eyes, from your expressions, from the way you look or don’t look at me and I know I have gone the wrong way about it.
There are days when I worry because you don’t look happy like I wish you would be, and then I ask you questions, not because I want to invade your space, not because I don’t trust you, not because I want to mind your business…I ask out of love, I ask because for me seeing you sad, or worried or too quiet…it is a sign something is wrong. ..and when something is wrong with my son I need to ask you, what’s wrong? When I see you sad and worried, I need to ask you how can I help you?
I am a mum, I am not perfect, I just am…but please believe that everything I do is out of love for you and if I could fix the entire world with a magic wand and be sure that you will always be happy, safe, secure then I would know my job is done.
Please forgive me for intruding sometimes, please forgive me if I have asked too many times are you ok? But please understand, I did not get any book of instructions and I am only doing the best I can for you.
Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to let go…I know you are not mine, you are a human being and your life belongs to you only. I can’t control what you do like I did when you were little, I am not able to fix everything just with a hug or a kiss; it all used to be enough when you were little…not anymore…mama’s kisses don’t quite cut it anymore like they use too.
So, my son, my love, my life, I just want you to know that you are free to be the person you want to be, and you are free to live the life you want to live, but whenever, wherever you might be and you might need a hand, I am here for you, always, a silent presence to lend a hand if you want me to.
And please forgive me for not being perfect and sometimes for asking, saying, insisting too much; my biggest gift to you is my unconditional love and I hope you do understand it even when I seem to love you too much.
A mother love will move mountains, a mother love will cross any Ocean, a mother love is all I have to offer, more than gold, money or fame….it might not buy you a home,or the best car but for as little it might seem is the most precious thing I Have to give and I give it to the most precious thing I have in life: You!
It's Time to Say Thank you 
You were in search of a Manual for Mother – teenage son relationship. You could find none, but Al’s you’ve written one for all mother’s. Kudos and note strength to your elbow.
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